26 Oct 05 Don’t Try This At Home
It seems the company which believed I was smart enough to buy their truck believes I’m dumb enough to hoist said truck in the air and proudly stand underneath. This would explain their recent commercial which brags about the bolts (six of them) which hold the truck bed to the frame. The benefits of these bolts are outlined as the truck is hoisted in the air in some super garage with some super hoist by one of those super bolts. The television personality confidently walks and stands underneath the suspended truck. In the bottom left corner of the screen this message appears: “Do not try this at home.”
Good thing they told me that. I own this particular model of truck and on a slow weekend, when I’m looking for things to do, I often have thoughts like: “I think I’ll go purchase a ten-thousand dollar lift, hoist my truck up in the air and smugly stand underneath.” Yeah, nothing like renting a crane and raising your ebenezer.
And what about all those commercials that advise: “professional driver on a closed course, do not attempt.” What’s the point of marketing a particular feature if you can’t attempt? Perhaps one of the reasons why video games which involve driving are so popular is we actually get to attempt all those things we see in the commercials that we are told to not attempt.
Anything you’ve seen that you’d just absolutely like to try at home? Personally, I want to rent a car, agree to all the suplemental insurance and drive that thing through a few barricades.
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I’ve always wanted to repaint the house and redo the bathroom as easily as those guys on TV. And I’ve been desperately looking for the deodorant that will help me walk with a confident spring in my step. kombkfey
Do they really serve bagels and Philadelphia Cream Cheese in heaven? I guess the children of Abraham really did beat us to the real estate in the clouds. It’s Miami all over again.
I was really hoping for BBQ.
As distasteful as I find the Paolo family on The Amazing Race, I was laughing pretty hard when the dad saw the party bike sitting where the race car should have been. Don’t ALL guys dream of driving thousands of miles per hour?
I too am a big fan of the small-print warnings. There’s none better than the one on the windshield screen that says, “Remove before operating vehicle.”
Ooohhhhhhhhh!
I like watching the History Channel’s “Mail Call Show” hosted by retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey. I wonder how the neighbors would feel about me cutting down some trees (all in the name of preventing hurricane damage) with a 50-Caliber machine gun? Hoo-ah.
dcqnpk
I recently bought a new hairdryer, aka “the leafblower 3000″. One of the warnings stated, “Do not use while sleeping”. Shoot! I was planning on conserving time by showering before bed and just propping the hairdryer beside my noggin while I drift off to dreamland. Bonus: on cold nights it also works like an electric blanket!
I’m more in tune with Tim the Tool Man Taylor when it comes to that “at home” stuff. I would, however, like to have the workshop of Bob Villa (sp?) so I could make virtually anything my mind could conjure.
The step-by-step instructions that look so uncomplicated on tv never turn out that way for me. But being the victim of testosterone poisoning, I’ll keep trying till I die! And it may kill me in the process.
znfxng
I’d like to take the diet pill, use the exercise equipment or the make-up that will melt away the unwanted pounds and put youthful beauty in my face immediately, if not sooner, like the various commercials offer!
Or be able to buy Emeril’s cookware and turn out meals like he does!
Speaking of Emeril, and harking back to the “change” blogs, I was reminded a night or two ago of being so old that I have trouble accepting change. One of mine and Doris’ favorite TV shows is Emeril Live. We watch it almost every night. He has a band named Doc Gibbs’ Emeril Live Band. We’re used to them, okay? Well, night before last, Doc wasn’t on there. He was replaced by an all-girl band named Antigone Rising. I’m like, “What, What? Where’s Doc? Bring back Doc. Why isn’t Doc on the show!” I had to hand my head in shame. Fortunately, he was back last night!
Hey, regarding your previous post about old commmercial slogans …what about “From the valley of the jolly, ho, ho, ho, Green Giant!” Those ads almost (emphasis on almost) made green peas edible!
nlllf
O.K.- Greg started it. There used to be a company that used to make a tire called “The Fat-so.” In the commerical a little old lady is buying one of these tires from an over-weight owner of one of these tire stores. As she drives away from the tire-store she yells out, “Thanks for the “Fat-so,” fat-so!”
fqctqrp
Greg, I guess you’ve heard that the voice of the Jolly Green Giant died? By the way, I checked with my system administrator, and he’s cool with my blogging, so I’m here to stay until you guys tell me to buzz off!
I know this is three responses from me, but I may get by with it once in a while. Have you seen the 50 year old grandmother babe pushing the excercise machine? I got one of those for Janice (though she’s not a grandmother yet) and can’t get her to use it! I hope it doesn’t come down to me actually having to use it.
jlosus
Okay, one more slogan thing (or maybe this qualifies as 2): What’s in your wallet? and Oh, Chubbsy, the answer is always no! Oh well, let’s make it three: I should have worked at Capital One!
day late & a dollar (or bonus points) short: how about the old Samsonite commercial with the guy & his son trying to close the stuffed suitcase. He says to son (as mom walks in), “get your mother to sit on it.”