113085550208625509
What difference does it make if he only want the money to buy beer?
Whenever we happen to be in Baltimore we try to stop at the Lexington Market. The Lexington Market is an indoor world bazaar, ethnic food court. It is also in the heart of downtown.
Driving around in the downtown portion of a major city is an experience each of us should endure at least once. I know, I know “he who loveth stooges” does it almost every day. The observation I will make today has nothing to do with streets, traffic, junkies or hookers. The observation I will make today concerns the billboards.
The billboards you see in a downtown urban area are a sight unto themselves. I‚Äôm not certain I have ever seen these products and services being offered in other parts of town. The billboards and signs advertised paternity tests — it had a catchy slogan ‚Äúfrom here to paternity‚Äù — the cost of supporting a child per month as compared to the allowance of a teenager and other such messages targeted towards babies having babies. I‚Äôm thinking the emphasis on safe sex has missed the mark. Anyway, back to the market.
The Lexington Market has a flavor and aroma all its own. Partly because of the food and partly because of the social setting. As we discussed, while exiting the parking lot, it’s healthy to place yourself in situations every once in a while where you are the minority. We decided to hit a few places, sampling the wares. We told the kids this was going to be our observance of Halloween this year. We were going to plunder the Egyptians in the food court instead of door to door.
We sampled some fried seafood delicacies. We purchased a Philly Cheese Steak sandwich and made our way to a table. The sandwich turned out to be so good I went back to purchase another. Either that or take food away from the kids. As I purchased my sandwich and turned to walk away a man approached me and began his speech about being hungry and wanting some money to buy some chicken from a chicken place across the way.
Editors note: About two or three years ago I was in Lexington Market and the same thing happened. The same request, for chicken, at the same place. They must have really good chicken.
I had to take a few steps back. Not from deja vu or anything - because the vapors of barley and hops were wafting aggressively from him. I carefully thought about the situation and said, “I’d be happy to go over there with you and buy you some chicken.” He responded by giving me his name and promising he wasn’t going to lie to me – that in fact he really only needing thirty-five cents for bus fare to make it to the shelter tonight.
I had just paid $4.50 for a great sandwich (with fries), had paid with a five spot and thus had fifty cents in my hand. I paused, for what seemed like “a paternity” and mulled my options. My suspicion was that he was collecting enough money to buy another beer. I ultimately decided so what? Why was I going to be the judge of how he spent his money? I had fifty cents in my hand and was debating the saneness of giving them to this man. I said “ok, how about fifty cents?” He smiled, said thank you, took the money and was gone.
Let me circle back to what I believe is a salient point. The point, in my opinion, was not what he was going to do with the money. The point was what was I going to do with the money. I’ve certainly spent money on things I shouldn’t have. My purchase of a 2nd Philly Cheese Steak sandwich could hardly be construed as the healthy thing to do with my money. I know there are exceptions. I know even I have limits. I believe sometimes the opportunities to help others are not so much to help someone else as they are to help us not be selfish and stingy and judgmental.
AND NOW PAGE 2 . . .
We left the Market and headed toward our vehicle with a bag full of cookies from a really good bakery. We were approached by a different man who asked if we had any spare change. I said, “how about I give you a cookie instead?” He declined, thought about it for a second and then said, “Sure, I’ll take a cookie.” I gave him a cookie. He smiled, said “thank you” and walked away.
9 Responses to “113085550208625509”
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it’s not so much what he was going to do with the money as what you were going to do with it. Many would argue the point, but I have trouble telling someone I just “don’t have it” (although admittedly I have said it) when I am obviously on my way to or coming from spending money. Yes, it’s mine, I worked for it. But Who blessed me with a job and the mentality to perform the job? I always think of this country song entitled “What if He’s an Angel?” Now I know there are folks who would argue with that, too, but just what if? I remember being approached by a man on a downtown Memphis street some years ago, dirty, fish-net shirt, at least as young as me at the time, appeared to be able-bodied. Asked for money to buy food. I told him I’d go with him over to the Bon-Ton (closest restaurant to me), which is pretty much a greasy spoon and buy him the food. He went willingly, and asked for a cheeseburger, fries, and coke. I paid for it and told him to have a seat, and I was about to leave. The cafe owner wouldn’t let him sit down to eat; he had to go outside and sit on the curb. I’ve never forgotten that.
I know my comments get wordy, but I feel it imperative that I interject something closely akin to this. Don’t mean to be judging, but here’s what happened, and it’s one of the reasons I stay perched on the proverbial fence we’ve talked about.
Some years ago when my parents were still living, I was paying their monthly phone bill. I have a brother who lived with them, and he can be described in many ways, alcoholic being one. He would run up their phone bill every month, and I, being the martyr that I am, continued to pay it, even when I had to borrow the money to do so, or write an insufficient check and try to beat it to the bank. My parents were elderly and in bad health, and I just couldn’t let them do without a phone in case of emergencies. Well, one month, I just couldn’t come up with the money, and the phone company was about to cut it off. I called my hometown church, where I grew up, and asked the elders to pay the phone bill for me. I think I remember explaining none of the rest of the family would pay it, for the obvious reasons, I didn’t have the money, Mom and Dad were sick and needed the phone, and on and on. The elder I spoke with had to confer with the others, and the short answer was “no.” The longer answer was, “Your brother is an alcoholic, and he ran up the bill, and we (the elders) are accountable for what we do with the Lord’s money.” I understood where they were coming from then, and I understand it now…….but, if I am remembering it correctly, I even asked for it in the form of a loan, and the answer was still no. It makes me think of the same scenario as refusing to give money to a beggar for fear of what they are going to do with it.
In case anybody is in any doubt, I was raised and continue to be one of those “mainline”, “mainstream”, whatever it’s called, people. However, in the last several years, and really, historically, I have questioned a great many things and edge over closer to the other viewpoint in a lot of areas.
Thanks for letting me let off some steam!
We all learn so many things from Randy’s blogs. Today, I learned to hit him up for change after he has broken a $20.
I sometimes hesitate to give money … almost always offer to buy a meal, if I have the money on me. I’d rather just give the change or buy the meal and let the Lord be the judge of my heart and that of the recipient. Not sure, though, that I’d give away a good cookie! (Just kidding)
aqifzdp (goes great with chips)
Good post Randy. This is one of those subjects that can make you “hops-ing” mad so I can “barley” contain myself. Seriously, when we have the kinds of encounters that you had it forces us to confront our Christian Value system and trust me; I’m not putting myself up on a pedestal on this issue. There is a real danger in developing a hard shell the more you deal with benevolence issues as I often do.
kqrlwjw
I visited downtown Baltimore a few years back and it was, well, scary. My visit there pretty much consisted of going back and forth from the hotel to Camden Yards.
Thank you for your post and for your example.
This one hits a home run because it sure gives me something to consider. My 12 years of walking to/from the metro while working in DC has truthfully hardened me. My husband and I often offered to buy a meal for those who approached us, but they declined because they wanted money. The next time I’m asked, I’ll think about this.
After six years working in urban ministry, I still wrestle with how to respond to this type of situation. Friends have said to me, “What would Jesus do?”, implying that those who think a long-term solution is a wiser approach are cold-harded for not passing out church funds as requests pour in. Yet I don’t recall Jesus having handed out money to people - he handed out hope, eternal life and a few other goodies. Whether or not we give fifty cents to the begger downtown will probably not make a difference in his life. For there to be real change, there has to be a relationship. Offering to eat a meal with a person who asks for money (not buy theirs and run) can be the start of a relationship or at least some great conversation. Each person has a story to tell. Ask their name and use it in the conversation. Pray with them or, if you’re not up to that, pray for them. I’ve made it a habit to pray for those I see asking for money (outloud if I’m with someone else - especially my kids). Like meowmix pointed out - “What if He’s an Angel?”
I’ve not read this book, but Ed Fudge (gracEmail) had this to say today and I thought it fit your blog, Randy. He quotes from a book by Thomas Cahill, “The Desire of the Everlasting Hills,” where Cahill summarizes Jesus’ judgment parable of the Sheep and the Goats. The charity that pleases Jesus, Cahill rightly expounded, is not only free-hearted and generous but joyful and spontaneous — giving to the needy who in that instant stand in for Jesus Christ himself.
What a thought! That when we encounter the person begging for whatever, that person stands in for Jesus and when we give to that person, we’ve done so to Christ. Seems like we know this intellectually, but tend to forget it experientially.
cawrnnox (an ox used for transporting cawrnn)
Ive written before, but it’s crazy how someone asking for 50 cents brings out the most deep, philosophical questioning.
In my book, you did right. And I’d take the cookie, but without hesitation. jjgyr
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.