113932407396454867
Transcript of an actual conversation that I overheard yesterday. There was no way not to overhear as the conversation was rather loud. Insert your own tone of voice where appropriate.
RECEPTIONIST - Did you fill out the patient information form?
PATIENT - I filled out five forms and faxed them just to get the appointment.
RECEPTIONIST - Yes, but did you fill out the patient information form? I don’t see it in your file.
PATIENT - I had to fill out and fax a whole bunch of forms just to make the appointment with you and have driven along way to make this appointment today.
RECEPTIONIST - I understand that but we need a completed patient information form.
PATIENT - I don’t remember what I filled out, I filled out five forms.
I sat in the waiting area, with ring side seats, watching this exchange and was made immediately aware of the reason for the conflict. The exchange of communication was escalating into conflict not because of what was actually being said – the conflict was escalating because of what was not being said.
More than that, it was the idea or perception of what one party thought the other party was saying. There is often a chasm between what is being said and what he actually hear.
In the previous incident, the reason for the anger and frustration had to do with what each person believed the other person to be saying. Here’s the same scenario only I will change the words to reflect what each person was probably hearing.
RECEPTIONIST - You won’t be seen today because a form is missing.
PATIENT - Are you kidding me? Are you aware of the hoops I had to jump through just to set up the appointment.
RECEPTIONIST - That’s really not my problem. A form is missing and you won’t be seen without it.
PATIENT - This is ridiculous. We’ve waited along time for this appointment and have driven a long way to make it to the appointment. How come now you’re just telling me about it.
RECEPTIONIST - It doesn’t change the fact that without the missing form you will not be seen today.
PATIENT - Unbelievable.
From a distance, removed from the actual conflict, I saw the solution to the problem was to ask for the required form and fill it out while waiting the 6 hours to actually see the doctor.
15 Responses to “113932407396454867”
As you point out, the simplest and most common-sense approach would have been to ask for the missing form and fill it out. However, this kind of frustration is rampant in our every-day world. I can see myself right in the middle of that scenario……….on either side!
This past Sunday, I went to my neighborhood grocery store to buy a few items. One item was a can of apricot nectar I needed for a cake. The shelf was empty! How dare they be out of apricot nectar! To add to that, I had to wait in line for an interminable amount of time. (I was nice and let someone in front of me who only had one item…..) Not to be deterred, I went to Kroger (always a mistake), and they had apricot nectar, but had to stand in line for another eternity! Frustration ruled my afternoon, and by the time I got home, I had to force me go ahead and make the cake!!
It all just made me want to say “Oh FDBLJ!” But it was Sunday, after all………
You are now assigned to follow me around and translate, thus keeping my blood pressure from escalting in situations such as the one you described.
Please?
Conflict is always easier to handle from a distance! I marvel at these “conversations” usually heard at some “Customer Service” desk.
The regular pulpit minister of the congregation I’m a part of often says, “Listen to what I mean, not what I say.” My brain is missing the particular neuron/chromosome that allows this translation process. And many other neurons/chromosomes.
By the same token, lots of people I talk to probably wish they had a Y’allbonics-English dictionary handy most of the time.
To borrow from a popular song in the early 70’s:
(to the tune of “Sign, sign, everywhere a sign…)
Patient – “Form, form, another missing form.
Receptionist – “Clogging up the system, breaking you from the line.’
Patient - “Fill this, don’t fill that, can’t you read the formmmm!”
Hey, Cecil, that’s pretty good!
It just all makes me want to blow like Mt. Zeesvzus!
Thanks Judy.
I’m a poet and don’t know it.
But what if he was a long-haired, freaky person?
C’mon, Steve … long-haired, freaky people need not apply. Even for medical help.
Okay, I’ll finish it………imagine ME working for YOU!
Look at what I created.
Pretty good post‚Ķ (Really means: Wish I’d written that.)
You must have good ears… (So you were eaves-dropping, eh?)
Thanks for the communication hints‚Ķ (I’m never going to be able to know what people are really saying.)
arlaic… (glidcish)
huh?
Active listening must take place before conflict can be resovled. It is amazing how many times I have gotten myself in trouble because I did not listen.
I am sorry I have to call out the Dr’s assistant on this. That’s a classic defensive and rigidly letter of the law stance if I ever saw one. He/she could almost be accused of being unhelpful talkless of sympathetic.
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