31 Jul 07 Coaching The Witness

This is not a retraction or a correction.  I stand behind what I wrote yesterday.   Right or wrong it’s my assessment and opinion of the issue.  I do offer a clarification.  My comments were not meant by any means to be construed as directed toward any single person.  On the contrary, my comments were squarely directed at the attitude that birthed and fostered this reality (the disparity between camp and church) across the board. 

In other news . . . the girls are back!

I know Reese will, at some point, face the scrutiny of interrogation.  A lesser father, much like a lesser attorney, would have not anticipated this and allowed his son (or client) to be unprepared.  No sir, not me.  I am not the lesser attorney.  I’m not even an attorney, nor have I ever played one on TV!

Any father worth his aqua velvet would have had some sort of conversation like this . . . (author’s note:  the following conversation is not a true conversation — it is a fictional representation to illustrate a point)

Dad - Son, the girls are coming back and you’re going to face the scrutiny of many important questions.

Son - okay.

Dad - Questions like, "what did you guys do?" or "what did you guys eat?" or, and be very careful with this one son "what’s this all about?"  Son, be very sure you have them define "this" as you may end up selling us out, breaking the man code, divulging sensitive information.

Son - (smiling) Oh yeah like when you . . .

Dad - (waving a hand to silence the son) You promised to keep quiet about that.

Son - (sheepish grin) Sorry, my bad, I forgot.

Dad - When asked about diet mention salad and vegetables, grains and dairy.

Son - But we ate hamburgers and drank milkshakes?

Dad - Yes and lettuce is salad and pickles are vegetables.  Grains are in the bread and milk is in the shake.  Also when asked what we did say, "we cleaned house" or "we worked in the yard" or "we feed homeless people and studied the bible."

Son - (questioning) but dad?

Dad - Now son we thought about doing some of that stuff and the good book says if you think about it, it’s like doing it.

Son - Got it.

Dad - Are you sure?

Son - Yep, we’re in trouble.

Dad - Yes we are son, yes we are.