18 Apr 08 Harmless Visual Stimuli
(Today’s post is courtesy of Peggy)
Josh had to interview a female client at that “Gentlemen’s Club” in Eugene, a dumpy place with blacked out windows and a sign that read “Harmless Visual Stimuli.”
Yeah, right.
So Josh had to meet her there, I seem to recall he had to meet her there because she could not come to his office and it was some weird and involved domestic dispute, maybe he had to deliver some papers or take a statement or whatever.
Josh pulls into “HARMLESS VISUAL STIMULI” and keeps his appointment with the lady and the entire time is worried about who is seeing his car parked out in the parking lot in the middle of the day on a Tuesday afternoon.
I TOTALLY would have photographed it if I had only known.
We had an Intern Teacher from Japan who came to live with us three years ago, and Tomo became part of our family. Now Tomo teaches Junior High English in Yuki-shi, Ibaraki, and makes his students laugh with stories about “American Mom.” Tomo came all the way from Japan last July to play acoustic guitar at Becky’s wedding as Tim walked Becky down the aisle. It was one of the most perfect moments of my entire life.
Josh performed the ceremony, and Tomo asked me if Josh was a “Holy Man,” and I told Tomo that No, Josh is not a Holy Man, but that Josh is God’s friend.
And that impressed Tomo even more.
The Holy Man went to Harmless Visual Stimuli.
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This story actually reminds of the time when I was a youth intern in a large major metropolitan city and was out “Cruising” with some of the utes. It was harmless. That is until I had to go into a strip club to retrieve one of the guys who said he needed a drink of water.
Reminds me of going into a liquor store to buy beer. Doris has recurring kidney stones, and her doctors told her years ago if she’d drink a beer a day, it would help her renal health. ‘Course, she wouldn’t buy it herself; I went to buy it for her. And I would explain and explain and explain to the clerk (who could have cared less) that I was buying it for my sister’s medicinal use! Really!!! The practice stopped altogether the first time her oldest son saw beer in our refrigerator!
That’s one of those “that’s my story and I’m sticking with it” ordeals if I’ve ever heard one!! Funny stuff and couldn’t happen to a better man than the Stumpmiester!
That reminds me of this one time I spent a week in a strip club and billed a client for it. The whole time I told everyone I was interviewing witnesses…..good times.
Ok not really, but the rest of Peggy’s story is mostly true. The only parts she left out was that another lawyer in my office offered me $50 to let him do the interview, which I gladly would have taken if the client would have allowed it. Also, I had the following conversation with a “patron” in the parking lot headed into this fine establishment:
Him: “Hey, nice suit.”
Me: “Ummmm….thanks.”
Him: “Ever been in here before?”
Me: “No, never.”
Him: “I come in all the time. They have great prime rib.”
Me: “That’s sick.”
Him (shrugging as if resigned); “Yeah, I guess so, but it’s only $5.99, plus tips…if you know what I mean.”
To this day I have no idea what he meant and I hope to never find out. Also, if that is how you are spending your Tuesday afternoons in Eugene, you need professional help and pronto. I mean, who eats prime rib in the afternoon? That’s just nuts.
Also, on a more positive note, officiating Becky’s wedding was one of the greatest honors I have ever received. No exageration. Even I was humbled to be asked and that is no easy task.
I love this blog theme Randy’s got going? How do we keep this going?
Harmless Visual Stimuli for strip club–is that like “I mispoke the truth” for “I lied like a dog.” Good one! No doubt police, lawyers, firemen and preachers have some of the best stories and one or two of them actually true.
Peace.